We are not always where we want to be right now. But the only way forward is through, and that means we start by accepting the way things are FOR NOW.
A wise woman once said “You can fight reality as much as we want, but reality is going to win.”
You'll be drained of all energy
Fighting reality takes a lot of energy. Pretending things are not as they truly are takes a lot of energy. Living in denial and making up stories to keep up the illusion of everything being what it isn’t, takes energy.
When we finally let go and accept reality for the way it is right now, we can create more energy for ourselves. We no longer have to fight against it, no longer try and control everything, we no longer have to remember or put energy into the lies we have been telling ourselves.
A natural response
We are have all seen this behaviour in movies and on TV. We have probably all done it ourselves, too, as it is completely natural. But fighting against reality is a losing battle and in my experience (and according to those films), can just make matters worse.
Do you know what I am talking about?
Don't fight it
I literally fought against burnout and depression until I had a mental breakdown. To be fair, it isn’t easy to KNOW if you are burning out or have depression until your learn about it and reflect and recognise it in yourself. When you are in it, it feels “normal” and the changes in you and your outlook may have been so subtle and slow-moving that they sneaked in without your noticing.
I fought against being at the rehabilitation center until I got home, exhausted.
I fought against my husband’s mental health, trying to fix it and pretending for years that I was fine and dealing with it.
It all drained my energy and it all made me miserable.
I ignored my intuition
When I was at the rehab center, I kept hearing my intuition, the wise one inside me telling me to let go, just go with it and all will be well, and still I felt a lot of resistance to it.
If I am honest with you now, it probably would have been easier and more relaxing if I had just let go and accepted it. Maybe I didn’t know how to do it there and then. I spent a lot of time trying to adjust and follow the busy plan they had for me.
It might be painful
Some things in life are really hard to accept. An illness. A breakdown of a relationship. A failure. Being hurt by other people. Our brains like to protect us from pain and that is where Freud’s list of coping mechanisms kicks in. Denial. Didn’t happen. Isn’t happening. Too painful - do not accept!
Once you are able to look behind the denial and recognise your own behaviour, or your brain’s tricks, you can allow those things that are to be true and you can accept them.
Step one - accept. Step two - change what you can
That is when the energy gets released and you can find ways of changing your situation for the better.
Accepting doesn’t mean liking it or being happy about, but accepting what is is the first the step to moving toward what can be.
Whatever situation you are in now, whether you want it to be in it or not, accept it for what it is. Acknowledge where you are right now. Start where you are. Then you can decide where you want to go next.
If it is already great, that great! Accept that too, receive it as much as you can, allow it.
Wishing you lots of love, strength, courage and acceptance on your path.
