I got run over - here is what I learned:

(If you prefer to listen to my blog - see the audio file hier.)

I didn’t exactly get run over, there was an accident. Explaining what really happened takes a little longer….

I was cycling on a cycle path as part of the road and a VW-Van towing a trailer with a wheel loader on it overtook me without allowing the legally required 1.5 metres. In fact it left me zero centimetres as there was on-coming traffic and the vehicle swerved towards me. The trailer hit me and knocked me and my bike for six. I have no recollection of what happened, luckily, but I have heard from the police that I did scream - all the time. This makes me laugh and at the same time I feel embarrassed, and sorry for the neighbours who had to hear it. On the other hand, as I have no recollection of it, I know that it was a natural and automatic reaction to pain and shock, which I surely experienced!

Anyway, what I really want to tell you is what I learned from this quite shocking and honestly, not entirely necessary, experience. 

1. Other people’s feelings about what happened to me are not mine to manage. 

Everyone has an opinion about the accident. Some people get really angry at car drivers in general, others get upset and scared about what could have been, others worry about their own safety on the roads and the driver feels guilty as hell. This is all fine with me, but (..and here is my advice for you, no matter WHAT the situation..) …it is not mine to manage. 

I do not have to manage other people's feelings or take them on.

Nor do I allow other people to influence my story. I do not feel angry, I am not haunted by what could have been and it is certainly not my job to absolve the driver of his guilt. These are all other people’s issues and not mine.  

2. Sometimes not remembering something can be beneficial to growth. 

I have always had a good memory and I really used to pride myself on it. However with age and experience I am learning more and more that which the Barenaked Ladies told me years ago: 

“Memory is a strange thing oh-yeah” (-Enid from Gordon). 

People remember things differently because they experienced them differently. And there is not one truth about whatever happened. I notice people change words and actions when they retell a story I experienced and I notice their interpretation of the words is completely different to mine. 

Nowadays I also notice where my brain has taken the start of one memory and finished it off with another and wants to tell me that this is the whole story. Another part of me knows however, that they were two different days, two different events, two different experiences being presented to me, like a collage of memories all rolled into one. Strange. Memory really is a strange thing. 

At the moment I feel very lucky not to remember the pain, the shock, the volume of my screaming or noticing how other people reacted to me during this extreme experience. I am still in one piece, despite the driver's fears of me breaking a leg or a hip, I walked away from the accident with bruises and some muscle pain. 

The doctor suggested I take pain killers generously, to alleviate my muscle pain, so as not to provoke more tension in my muscles.  Feeling the pain would lead me to feeling more pain. Similarly, not remembering the traumatic experience has allowed me to have this experience without the emotional turmoil, which is preventing me from feeling more mental pain. I don’t (or rather my brain doesn’t) have the possibility to go through all the “woulda, shoulda, couldas,” kicking myself for all the choices I made leading up to the accident, or my behaviour during and after. 

Not remembering has allowed me to move on without dwelling on what happened, accept the situation and concentrate on healing and moving forward, which brings me to my next point….

3. Being connected to Spirit (or higher power, God, nature, source, however you would like to express it) does not protect me from the human experience. 

It doesn’t protect me from bad things happening, from pain, injury, accidents, loss or suffering. These are all part of the human experience (okay, suffering is debatable, I know, but for the sake of this post, I am including it). HOWEVER through my connection to Spirit I experience extra strength and support to deal with whatever life throws at me with more grace and self-kindness.

I don’t mean this as a spiritual by-pass, for me it is more spiritual support or guidance or accompaniment. Connecting to spirit also brings me joy, which lifts my spirit and anything that lifts your spirit is healing. 

The police told me that a fire truck happened to be passing by and stopped at the scene, the police themselves happened to be passing by and stopped to take reports of the situation and the ambulance was there within minutes. It makes me happy to believe these were all brought about by Angels in motion, or gifts from Spirit, or something similar.

It doesn't matter if you believe this version or not, it helps me to process the situation and it promotes my healing. As does my next point....

4. My body will always tell me what I need and I can trust her wisdom.

Even though my scared brain likes to tell me: “Don’t move, it will hurt!”,  “Don’t go outside, it is dangerous!”,  “Don’t go to sleep, you will have nightmares about the accident!”, my body knows best. 

My body tells me: move as much as you can. Walking is healing. Sleep and rest are healing. My body will literally get my ass out of the door to go for a walk, to loosen off my stiff and tense muscles from the accident, to get my blood pumping, to get fresh oxygen into my lungs, which will bring healing energy to my body. She knows the hormones released when I walk will produce my body’s own pain killer - endorphins. She knows watching things that make me laugh or feel good will also up the ante on the endorphins. She will force me to have a nap when she knows she needs it to set some new healing process in motion. AND I LISTEN.  

It is great to stretch what I think I am capable of and reflect on the effect: Do I now feel better, worse or the same?

5. The work I do (myself and teach my clients) builds resilience.

Don’t get me wrong - I still fall into old patterns of “poor me!” and  “why me?”, etc. and get stressed about the things I now have to go through, but after doing all the work I do (and preach about), I get to stop and consciously decide to change my course: Change my thoughts, my mood, the way I see the situation. 

This way the stress passes. I know how to look after myself, I know how to be kind to myself, listen to my body and give myself what I need to promote healing. My body knows how to return to equilibrium. 

I have changed the way I see the world dramatically over the last five years and it has made a huge impact on my life. 

I am able to accept what happened, allow my feelings about it and let them flow through me and flow away (not feeling your feelings is how they get stuck and start causing problems in your life). I do not resist a cry when I feel overwhelmed by my situation, I just feel it and let it out when it comes. Then I feel fine again.

I am far more relaxed, almost neutral about what happened and I know in my heart

1. I was lucky in this misfortune, and

2. (and here is the advice bit) It has NOTHING to do with me.

It just happened. I do not have to take this personally. There is no why or because, the important question is: What do I need right now?

Thank you for reading!

If there is anything in this post for you - please let me know! And if you want any support with your own crisis moments, do get in touch, I LOVE connecting and having these conversations. kathy@burnoutrevolution.com

Photos by S. Brady, many thanks for your keen eye.