Reha Day 13

The drains of the days...

I have had two full weeks of Rehab classes now and I am starting to think of this place as more of a Psycho-Bootcamp.

I am starting to feel exhausted most of the time. This makes me uneasy, sometimes distressed, as the feelings are similar to those in my darkest days of burnout.

The amount of stimuli and information I have to process every day is exponentially higher than that of my usual life.

My highly sensitive soul

As a highly sensitive person, I process the stimuli on a deeper level than non-HSPs, which means I need a lot of down time. I remember in one of my blogs writing “I needed much more down time than I was allowing myself.” Here at the center it is difficult to allow myself this time, as the Reha has a lot of demands, similar to a 9-5 job (although here, it is more 7-7). There is not much space available for down time.

A very special day

Yesterday was my birthday and I was rudely awakened from my dreams at 6.05 in the morning by the radio alarm clock. My heart thumping in shock. This experience alone needs to be processed on that deeper level before I even start my day, but there is no time… I have to get dressed and walk down the long hall, down four flights of stairs, out of the building and over to the canteen in time to have breakfast and be ready for my first class.

Despite the hectic schedule the day was quite wonderful, with many magical moments, lots of joy, feelings of love and appreciation. And highs, obviously. What especially touched me was the heart-felt well-wishing from those who are almost complete strangers. I feel deeply blessed.

This isn't us, just a representation ;-)

A big hug

One big highlight, my husband came to visit and we had a nap in each other’s arms! Oh Joy! Two of my favourite things, Sleep and cuddles. They are the best things to regulate my nervous system and I miss them dearly here.

Despite all the wonder and delight of the day, there is so much processing to do. I do feel overwhelmed by the end of the day and I woke up feeling agitated this morning.

My highly sensitive refuge

I found some comfort in another blog about highly sensitive people https://highlysensitiverefuge.com and exchanges with one or two other people here who are also highly sensitive.

Sometimes it feels like it is all too much and there is nowhere to go. I do have my own room (thank goodness) and after my birthday I have a few more lovely things in it which make me feel more comfortable, like two bunches of flowers, some decorative cards and an LED candle, which is absolutely perfect for recovering from the glaring lights here at the center!

My gratitude for this day...

I am so grateful for a day without a schedule! I allow myself to sleep as long as I need, to skip the breakfast ritual if need be. But I am awake and I take it slowly and get to the breakfast table to exchange news with my new friends before retiring again back to my room, some quiet, some writing and posting, some journalling and some meditation. The sun is shining (rain and storms are expected later) and I am hopeful for some inner peace again soon, even if it just a brief moment….